Suspending the blogging

I kept feeling bad that I haven't been updating my blog, and realized it is not something I have time to do now. I just need to commit to less time on the web and more time doing my responsibilities. Right now the main one is putting every business transaction since January into Quickbooks, and setting all of our 74 customers up on it as well for invoicing. Until that task is done I have no business blogging! So goodbye blogging friends, I'll have to see you in the real world!

Not getting very far

I still haven't made out my cards for my card file of daily tasks, weekly tasks, etc. Why? Because I have spent way too much time setting up my new Facebook account. I wanted to share really quick this great quote that was read at the Weekend to Remember on anger. I was angry at the time because when we got home the night before this transpired:

Me: I have a lot to do to get ready for being gone this weekend. (Implication - you should know to help me).

Damon: Oh. (Infers - great she will be busy and won't mind if I play guitar).

Obviously, I minded that he played guitar and just didn't intuitively know that the right answer was to offer to help me. So, this was fresh in my mind and I was feeling so happily sorry for myself that my mean husband wasn't learning anything so far at the conference and a good husband would be more helpful. Then I was slammed with this:

"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." Frederick Buechner.

Isn't this so true? The truth is I have a great husband who isn't perfect, but is my God-given gift. Thank you Lord!

We had a great time!

The Weekend to Remember conference was wonderful and it exceeded my expectations. I would definitely recommend it, even for those who have been to marriage conferences before. I think they had a fresh approach to things and I definitely walked away challenged and refreshed. We spent Saturday night there, and I am so glad that we did. It was great to just relax at the hotel and not have anyone to take care of! I think the main thing that God showed me through the questions and material was just how controlling I am, and how much I need to turn that control over to Him. I really am a person that likes to control everything about life to stay in my comfort zone, and I hate when there are any bumps to my plan. Being married means sometimes that spouse may have an idea of their own, but I don't always leave room for that! Conviction is good, and I know the Lord is faithful to teach me to relinquish my control and just enjoy life a little more.

My mom stayed Saturday night and was a busy bee while she was here. She cleaned my laundry room, refrigerator, mopped, did some laundry, and other things. Damon had some things on the side of the house for uncontained trash day and she even organized that. My sister was here helping her, and I am guessing that she watched the boys while my mom was working. It kind of bummed me out that she did that because my choice would be that she just play with and enjoy the kids, but it is her way of showing me love. I am enjoying the fruit of her labor now!

OK, so I am going to get serious about a daily routine instead of making it up as I go. That is the challenge for the day!

Ouch

In my last post I made reference to a waxing appointment.

Apparently, some people have a bad allergic reaction to the wax or wax removal lotion.

This will be a funny story years from now. Many, many, many years from now.

Marriage retreat

We are going on the Weekend To Remember retreat this weekend! I am actually so excited. We weren't planning on going, then it all just sort of worked out. Damon really wanted to spend one night at the hotel - our first night ever away from the kids - and my mom agreed to come spend the night. I'm a little nervous about that, but I think it will all be ok. So I am focusing on the marriage area of life this week in preparation. It's so easy to push that to the side when life gets busy, but it has been fun to put it to the forefront. I'm thinking champagne, music, candles, and I even had an appointment that included hot wax (ouch). Of course, this is totally breaking the budget and isn't the most responsible use of money right now. That said, I am glad we are doing it! Need to do a little more Flying, but the basics are getting done and it is a lot better than it was, and I think progress begets more progress. My main nemesis right now is the office and dealing with paperwork, and once I conquer that foe I think I'll really feel like things are coming together. It's funny to think that when my mom was mom age she had a 16 year old and seemed so middle-aged! I feel like by my age I should have already arrived somewhere further ahead then I am, but I guess I am a late bloomer! Oh, and a praise is that Ben didn't have one bad diaper at all today, so I think he is finally getting better! What a relief. I'm about to put 40 minutes into going through paperwork, partly because when my mom is here she'll probably snoop : )

Better than it was but a long way to go!

Since a cough was added to Ben's list of symptoms last night I called the doctor's office and they said to bring him in. In two weeks he has lost 2 1/2 pounds - which for him is 10% of his body weight. We are in watch and wait mode with him and I also get the joyful job of collecting stool samples the next couple of days to send to the lab. That's fun. I mention this because this morning became a flurry of getting ready to go to the doctor, getting ready for my friend Tricia to come watch Aaron, and getting ready for a lady to come buy a stroller I listed on Craigslist. I was in CHAOS - Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome - and that depressed me. There was definitely less chaos and running around than before, but chaos nonetheless. My choices to not do my routines added up to a hectic morning. It was a good reminder why I want habitual order in my home - so there are not many of these times. Tonight I need to do some work for the pool business, clean up the kitchen and exercise. On top of it all my weight is up and that is discouraging. I think it may have something to do with the overeating - I have heard that there is a connection between consuming massive quantities of junk food and gaining weight. There is also a connection between gaining weight and pants being too tight. There is a definite connection between pants being too tight and being in a grouchy bad mood, and of course there is a factual, proven connection between the grouchy bad mood and chocolate. Darn vicious cycle!

His Mercies Are New Every Morning!

Not a banner day here yesterday! Didn't get the control journal started, didn't do some laundry that needed doing, etc. Defrosted chicken for dinner, but didn't pay attention and I didn't have enough since my mom-in-law was also invited which meant a trip to the store to buy a rotisserie. Another example of disorganization costing $$! My real downfall though was just not turning my thoughts to the Lord and turning to overeating. I made an awesome dinner - Giada DeLaurentis' Chicken Carbonara recipe here. This is a very satisfying and filling dish, so why did I go on to eat a bowl of ice cream and two large bowls of fruit loops? Because I was a little on edge and rather than turn to the Lord I turned to favorite foods. Did I mention I was home alone? I do have my pride - I wouldn't pig out like that in front of Damon!

Today is a new day and I can choose to make today different. We are watching my friend's pre-teen boys while they do some marriage counseling for another couple, so I have built-in help with the kids and should be able to get a lot done. I hope you choose to walk in the Spirit today and in that ever-present battlefield of the mind stop the negative, life-draining thought patterns and go to the Word instead! OK, not to encourage you to overeat but Breyer's Ice Cream is on sale for $2.50 at Wal-Mart and the big box of Fruit Loops is on sale too! They also carry every ingredient for Chicken Carbonara at a good price and you should really try that!

Baby steps

I am having a hard time doing the Fly Lady baby steps. I need to set up my control journal, and I find myself skipping ahead because I want to do more. I know I need to trust that the plan works and do it correctly instead of blowing off the key principles and trying to make it work in a hodge podge way. I think that is a pattern in my life: I am turned off my long processes so I abbreviate them to work for me, but I end up missing out on key elements because of that. I put on my blog slow and steady, and I do believe that slow and steady is truly a key to lasting change.

I learned how to run a few months ago using that process - slow and steady progress. I hated to run and couldn't run, but by very gradually increasing my running I can easily run a mile now. Trust me when I say that I never thought that was possible. I think with the running I was willing to do the slow and steady process because it was so clear there was no other way. I couldn't just jump up and run even a quarter of a mile, so there was no way around the process. I need to apply that to organization because otherwise it is just too discouraging. I know that at some point the routines will be easy, even though know it seems like a huge task. So for today, I am going to set up my control journal just doing step one .

By the way, Damon admitted after seeing the boys' new shoes that Crocs look really comfy and he wanted some for around the house, so I picked some up for his birthday today. Feel free to make fun of him if you see him!

Found this awesome pendant on Etsy.com - a website solely for selling hand crafted items. It's $37. This doesn't really have to do with getting my act together but I just fell in love with it and I love etsy. Here is a link to etsy if you want to browse or sell. Aha - there now it can fit under the financial area of life! Gotta run get things done - Top Chef at 10 tonight! There is actually a marathon going on but I'm using self-control and I'm just going to watch the new one. Umm . . .that's the plan anyway.

Areas of Life

There are different ideas on what the main areas of life are. I looked at different resources and then chose my list that I created on the right. Interestingly enough, no list that I found on the internet mentioned "home" as an area of life. I think men created these lists! To me, the concept of creating a home is an area of life for women. I think of creating a home as creating an environment that is welcoming and nurturing, whether it is in a tent or a castle. Making good meals, reading to the children in a comfy corner, these things to me are part of making a home. Also in that for me is creating peace and order in my home to free me up for the other areas of life. I saw one list that included creativity and I really liked that. I thought of all of you and your talents and thought how neat of God to put in us this desire to create. For me my creative outlet right now is cooking, and to have fun with that means order in the kitchen. And time to watch my favorite show - Top Chef! I'm obsessed. Now FLYers we are in the Master Bedroom zone right now. Are you FLYing? I'm doing a little bit, but the main task in there is to organize the storage under my bed and I think I'm waiting until next month. Baby steps, ya know? I've been a little lazy today, but I did a "swish and swipe" in the guest bath and did my meal planning for the week, grocery list and did my coupons. Also, FYI, if you have extra $$$ set aside the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale for women and kids starts today and there are some good deals. I am saving up for the July anniversary sale. I have decided to stop buying cheap stuff that lasts for one washing and just buy good stuff when it is cheap. Monica has a good post on what I call "having the wants" that reminded me not to dwell on what I want (and can't have right now) but to be so thankful for what I have. Thanks Monica for the exhortation!

Day three

Yesterday was more hits than misses which is good! Got everything done that I wanted to plus more. The misses? Pretty much lived on chocolate chip cookies. Moderation, Barbara! The trip to the mall turned out to be a blast! I went to exchange something but ended up getting a refund, then spent the refund on matching froggy shoes at Stride Rite for the boys. Are these too cute or what! Before leaving I was getting so excited to go to the mall, but thankfully I decided what my spending would be beforehand and ended up coming out even. Nana bought Aaron a huge ice cream cone, a kid's meal, and played forever in the play area, so it was a banner day for him! Today's goals: exercise, spend time in the Word, look at B of A small business stuff for pool business. Plus normal day-to-day organization and cleaning.

I had an epiphany last night when I was on the treadmill. The song Santa Monica by Everclear came up on my ipod, and I flashed back to 13 years ago living in Costa Mesa running on the treadmill listening to that song. I remember thinking at that time that I wanted to get more serious about fitness, and here I am 13 years later at the same point listening to that song thinking the same thing. 13 years is a long time! That's like Lauren's whole life! I was thinking of all of the years that I talk about making changes and never do. Talk about spending more devotional time, talk about growing in my relationship skills in my marriage, talk about things I'd like to do around the house. I asked myself if I was ready to move past talk in my life, and God put in my head the verse Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. I am praying for the strength to truly throw off everything that hinders me from truly living out the life and race that God has marked out for me. The same sin patterns that I struggle with now are the same as when I became a Christian 23 years ago. I truly just felt like God was asking me am I ready to truly live out what He has called me to. Yes, yes, a resounding yes! The nitty gritty of it for me really means self-denial and discipline. I need to discipline this mind of mind to dwell on the things of Christ, and hopefully part of the outcome of that will be that this mouth is disciplined in what comes out of it! Sorry to be so long, it was just a big moment! Who knew you could have a spiritual epiphany while listening to 90's grunge music???

Day two

Hits and misses yesterday. We did get the crib out of Aaron's room and the new bed in. All without a lot of nagging, so I guess I was a little bit nicer wife yesterday! Didn't run on the treadmill because my stomach still felt a little weird, but then it felt better and I made (and ate) chocolate chip cookies. That would be a miss only because I had already had In -n- Out Burger for lunch! Ben stayed up super late not feeling great so I missed my opportunity to get on the computer and go over the bills, so that gets transferred to today. It felt great to be able to walk around the van in the clean garage, and that is motivating to keep up the progress! Today's goal: go over the bills, get on the treadmill, start my CouponSense system. To show how hopeless I am, I signed up with CouponSense a couple of months ago and have been paying the subscription fee plus my Arizona Republic fee, but I still haven't set up my system and started using it. Today is the day! I need to get a handle on grocery bills and I know that CouponSense is a great program, so time to put words into action. Costs of disorganization are high. Tomorrow I have to drive to Paradise Valley Mall to meet my mom to pick up a baby monitor that I forgot while out in Chandler visiting. Between gas and time, that is a big waste. If you spend 5 minutes of every hour of an 8 hour day looking for things (e.g. pacifiers, keys, a pen, etc) that adds up to over 4 weeks per year (166 hours). I want my four weeks back!

Slow and Steady

Today is the first day of the long process of creating more order in my life.  Funny thing is my parents are very orderly, but somehow I didn't learn it from them.  My days of looking for my keys for an hour or for one lost shoe (that somehow ends up in some inexplicable place like the pantry) are soon going to come to an end.  My resources are going to be websites like Flylady.net, books I can get from the library (as part of getting my financial act together), and you my friends.  

Yesterday good progress was made on cleaning the garage, however it did produce a nasty argument!  I guess getting my act together should also include being nicer to my husband!  

Today's goals are getting the crib out of Aaron's room and the twin bed in, plus the daily stuff of keeping the kitchen and family room clean.  For my financial health I'll look at the bills, and for physical health I will go on the treadmill for 1.25 miles.  

If you are reading, please post your goals and let's keep each other accountable to do it!  Your home may be immaculate, so maybe it is spending time with the spouse or looking at investing for the future.  Or, you may be like me with a house that is fairly clean but not organized and that is stifling your life.  

If you really have your act together, what works for you?